Our Adoption Journey

Our journey to start a family through the miracle of adoption.

Monday, 20 August 2012

Our baby, our compass

As part of the adoption process, we had to go for Psychometric Testing to establish whether we will be fit as parents. I do agree that this is very necessary indeed and often think that they should make this compulsory for all people of child-bearing age. Anyway...

Having grown up in a house where the notion of seeing / needing a psychiatrist was made fun of - as it were only crazy people who need to do that - this was my first experience as such. I was terrified! What if I fail? I thought about the first time that I went for my driver's license. I did not get the damn parallel parking right and I failed. It was such an ENORMOUS disappointment. I cried so hard because I let myself down and was not good enough. So I imagined the doctor asking all this impossible questions, then after looking deep into my soul she would say no, not good enough, you fail and you will not be receiving your baby. I had a couple of little heart attacks while playing scenes like there over and over in my head.

And then finally the day arrived. We met the woman who would weigh our future in her hands and she turned out to be nothing like we expected. Our SW did give me a heads-up that she is not the stereotypical doctor, but we were still surprised. She looked like somebody's grandma - she had an awesome bun on her head and was very approachable.

We each got a questionnaire to complete, where-after she analysed it and gave us her opinion and findings. She was SPOT-ON. I was actually amazed at how she was able to put all of my feelings into words. She gave us some very good advise and some pointers and told us that she will be recommending us as adoptive parents. Relieve flooded over us - I still cried a little, but because we ARE good enough!

As we were about to leave she said something that will forever stuck with me. She said that we are both still searching for the things that will make us the best that we can be, and the happiest that we will be, and that she feels that our baby will help us with this. That he/she will be our compass.

1 comment:

  1. I think it's a common thread amongst all potential adoptive parents, the fear of not being good enough or being found unfit to be parents.
    The psychometric testing is fascinating and I loved ours because they were so completely spot on for us to and gave us great insights into who we are as people, I felt proud of who I was after hearing the results!