Our Adoption Journey

Our journey to start a family through the miracle of adoption.

Monday, 29 April 2013

Profile Blues & Butter

I talked to our social worker week before last. Take note that I do not talk to her on a regular basis - although I would like to call her every day and ask if they have our baby ready for collection yet.

This was actually only the 2nd time after our panel meeting that I had to call her. We were left with strict instruction that if we hear nothing from them it is because we do not have a baby yet and other that that there is really nothing that we need to talk about. But seeing that our lives and jobs and home address are busy changing I needed to find out whether it is necessary for another home visit. And no, it’s not. Once we are matched with a baby a local social worker will be send to do a home inspection and bob’s your uncle!

I also asked about our profile. Seeing that a year has passed, a lot of things changed and I am soooo much smarter than I've been a year before, it is probably a good idea to change certain things. I did not expect our SW to suggest that I redo the whole profile. See, in the time that we did our profile, scrapbooking was really hip and happening, but like all things it has become a bit old fashioned – and not in a good way. 
Photobooks are the new “in thing”. I’m very familiar with photobooks as I made 2 with our wedding photos which came out beautiful and professional. I feel a bit silly now thinking that our profile is shown around with all those lovely glossy photobooks…

And so I've loaded the software onto my laptop in order for me to work on it in the evenings. That was more than 2 weeks ago. I've finished 3 pages… Three pages which I’m not entirely happy about. The SW said that I must get it to them quick, my head says that I must be quick about it, but I’m just too darn tired and uninspired.

My life is a bit hectic at the moment. Not having hubby around to help definitely adds to the workload. Having to commute home over weekends are very draining and takes up a lot of time. At work we are implementing a new program and I have to work back and add all the data from end Feb as we need it to reflect the whole financial year as well as do my current work. I’m also still setting up my home office, getting quotes and organising telephone lines and equipment.
To top it all my brother got some really bad news from his doctor last week. Went under the knife today. The operation went well, so let’s pray that this is the end of that…

Very stressful time indeed, with me not getting around to do that profile.

I feel a bit like Bilbo Baggins - 
"I'm old, Gandalf. I know I don't look it, but I'm beginning to feel it in my heart. I feel thin. Sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread. I need a holiday. A very long holiday."
- not old and like I need a very long holiday - but a bit stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread.

Friday, 12 April 2013

And NOW you will finally fall pregnant

On this journey to parenthood we get bombarded with so many remarks and suggestions. Some of them just plain rude and inconsiderate, some hysterical, some stupid and then those that are said to us out of pure love or sympathy.

From the start I made a point of not taking these up too seriously and not to let it get to me - there is enough to deal with emotionally and no space to sort out other people's misconceptions as well.

I must also admit that both my and Riaan's families are very supportive and excited about our choice to adopt. Had only one adverse reaction from a cousin of Riaan, but after finding out more about her story, I understand why she said the things she did and could shrug it off and move on.

Had a couple of people commenting about how I will fall pregnant once we adopt a baby. I know that this is a HUGE misconception and kind of like an urban legend when adopting. At first I was a bit shocked and lost for words and ANGRY - do they really think that after we adopted a baby that I would immediately have one of my own to replace the adopted one with??? Now whenever someone says that to me, I tell them that we'll get Riaan "fixed" as soon as we get THE CALL, just to make sure that we do not get pregnant by accident... It's really cruel, but I do enjoy the shocked expression on their faces, LOL!

With us moving out of the City and living a much slower paced life in the country a new hope has creep into people's hearts. Some are convinced that we will fall pregnant now. AT LAST! Why did I not think of this earlier? Could have spared us 4 years of trying all the other things. The solution to having a baby is to live a happy, healthy, very relaxed life, to have lots of fresh air and food, be surrounded by friends and people caring about you, no traffic and lots of open space... Sounds idyllic and like the perfect recipe for creating that bun in the oven... but then I remembered, as I was driving with the bus to work I was staring out the window and under the shelter of a filthy building a "bergie" was packing up his belongings for the day, after spending a cold night sleeping on the hard ground beside a busy City street. Next to him stood his very pregnant wife... I rest my case.

On a lighter note, at least we can still find the humor in it all. Thanx Mel!

Wednesday, 10 April 2013

Moving on... or not

I have not been blogging for a while, had a lot of things going on in my life and I did not want to confuse everybody with random happenings and thoughts. Felt like I've been in an industrial tumble-drier, going round and round and round. But the cycle has stopped now, and while my head is still spinning a bit, the drama is over.

During Jan & Feb, while the Western Cape sun was shining down on us for 15 hours a day, "visiting" my hubby in the country was fine. I left the City at 16:00 on a Friday afternoon and came back directly to work on a Monday morning. The problem started in March when we got our first rain and the days suddenly turned darker for longer; when it took me 4 hours instead of the usual 2 to get home; when a weekend with my husband meant seeing him on a Saturday and leaving again on Sunday. A total of 1 night per week, times 3 weekends a month, equals 3 nights a month. I was horrified to think that this is how the winter will be like, cold and wet and without my warmer half!

So while in my mind I was still convincing myself that it is not as bad as it seems and that all will be OK, my body decided to pull up the handbrake and stopped me in my tracks. I had a terrible flu and the doctor booked me off for a week, which I spend in my country bed, with my hubby making me breakfast and bringing me lunch. So I gave up the fight.

I told my boss that I'll be working notice for April and May and will be leaving for the country come June. We would have to make due with Riaan's salary, but we will survive. I then, though word-of-(small-town)-mouth, got a job-offer at a transport company on a farm outside of town. Not being perfect, as it meant a 70km drive per day and a very basic salary. But it would help and the owner of the company is well known and respected in town.

Meanwhile back at work, we are busy implementing a computer program which will make our lives easier and create access to all the information from wherever. So my boss brings up the proposal that I made a couple of months back, read more about that disaster here. I was completely caught off guard and declined. I was moving house at that stage (as my MIL's house got rented out) and not in a good head space. Luckily I regained my senses and we talked about it some more. So, the conclusion is that I'll be setting up a home-office and will be working remotely from there. I am thrilled, but also sad for having to give up the other opportunity. But - life is all about the choices we make and living with the consequences.
I do however feel that this is the best option, and taking into consideration that we might have a baby any day soon, this is the perfect solution.

Wednesday, 3 April 2013

Kiddies books about adoption

Trinity Heart compiled a nice list of books about adoption that one can read to your adopted child to explain and help them to understand their story. I hope that we would one day soon get the chance to read these books to our little baba.

I can also recommend Adoptmom's "The Greatest Gift / Die Grootste Geskenk".

Do you have any other book suggestions?

Happy Reading!