Our Adoption Journey

Our journey to start a family through the miracle of adoption.

Friday, 12 April 2013

And NOW you will finally fall pregnant

On this journey to parenthood we get bombarded with so many remarks and suggestions. Some of them just plain rude and inconsiderate, some hysterical, some stupid and then those that are said to us out of pure love or sympathy.

From the start I made a point of not taking these up too seriously and not to let it get to me - there is enough to deal with emotionally and no space to sort out other people's misconceptions as well.

I must also admit that both my and Riaan's families are very supportive and excited about our choice to adopt. Had only one adverse reaction from a cousin of Riaan, but after finding out more about her story, I understand why she said the things she did and could shrug it off and move on.

Had a couple of people commenting about how I will fall pregnant once we adopt a baby. I know that this is a HUGE misconception and kind of like an urban legend when adopting. At first I was a bit shocked and lost for words and ANGRY - do they really think that after we adopted a baby that I would immediately have one of my own to replace the adopted one with??? Now whenever someone says that to me, I tell them that we'll get Riaan "fixed" as soon as we get THE CALL, just to make sure that we do not get pregnant by accident... It's really cruel, but I do enjoy the shocked expression on their faces, LOL!

With us moving out of the City and living a much slower paced life in the country a new hope has creep into people's hearts. Some are convinced that we will fall pregnant now. AT LAST! Why did I not think of this earlier? Could have spared us 4 years of trying all the other things. The solution to having a baby is to live a happy, healthy, very relaxed life, to have lots of fresh air and food, be surrounded by friends and people caring about you, no traffic and lots of open space... Sounds idyllic and like the perfect recipe for creating that bun in the oven... but then I remembered, as I was driving with the bus to work I was staring out the window and under the shelter of a filthy building a "bergie" was packing up his belongings for the day, after spending a cold night sleeping on the hard ground beside a busy City street. Next to him stood his very pregnant wife... I rest my case.

On a lighter note, at least we can still find the humor in it all. Thanx Mel!


  1. Those comments are so frustrating. I'm one of the few that did have a surprise pregnancy after years of fertility treatments so now I get - "I just knew that would happen - it must have just been stress."

  2. That's so annoying... But I know you will enjoy the country life, and good luck with the adoption process, hope it is speedy.