5 Years..

Today, we celebrate the 

joining of our hearts

We were meant for each other 

right from the start

We were destined to be together

and never to part

You are my friend, my lover

and the keeper of my heart

Happy 5 year anniversary Love!

Practicing Patience

In church yesterday we celebrated the Harvest Festival. Seeing that farmers are a big part of our community and keep the town running, we are all very happy when it is a good year and the harvest begins.

I also got a personal message about practicing patience out of the scripture, James 5:

James 5:8 - You also, be patient.

Musical Monday - "Everything to Me"

On turning 35..

Just after 7:00 this morning I turned 35 years old.

34 are never to be seen again. Sad much? No, not really. A little sad that yet another year has passed and that time seems to be flying faster as I get older. But now, being here on the tipping point between the 30's and 40's I feel good.. balanced.

During my childhood and teenage years I've grown from being a silent, shy child into a silent, moody teenager. My early twenties were all about fun and discovering the world, falling in love and trying on adulthood. Late twenties were mostly about survival. Learning how hard the world can be, but also turning into a stronger person because of it. During my early 30's my life took shape. I got married, got a job that I love, bought a house and started a family (as you know the family thing is not done yet, but it is indeed started). My outlook on life and about people changed. I grew into myself and am now comfortable with the person I am. I can keep up a good conversation, but I can also remain silent for days – the difference is that I do not make excuses for it any more. It is who I am and who I choose to be. I still have a lot of girl left in me – I prefer to walk barefoot in the summer and have my hair up in a ponytail – but I've also matured into a woman with my own opinions and preferences.

So here is to being 35! To living a year filled with love and loving. To make new friends and reconnect with old ones. To be mindful, happy and optimistic. To take care of myself and those I love. To reach out more and make small changes. To be still, free and peaceful.

Trinity Heart and Adoption on Doctors Orders

"The adoption journey can be a very daunting process. This extract from Doctor's Orders aim to share some of the experiences of parents who have chosen to adopt and also speak to people and organizations that are facilitating the adoption process and providing support for parents."

Watch the video it here.

A Compactum for our Shadow Child

While we are waiting we have acquired a couple of baby goods but nothing serious. I think the one thing that will drive me completely over the edge is having a nicely done up nursery with no baby. I am a professional procrastinator, so think that those last 2 weeks will be more than enough time to prepare for the delivery of our little one.
This said, in the back of my head I'm always preparing for when we have a baby. Certain things gets bought (or not), holidays taken (or not) and planning done (or not), always with our little shadow child in mind.

So this weekend there was an auction in our neighboring town and we were on a mission to go and buy a freezer. Living in the country we now have the opportunity to buy produce in bulk and our garden is coming along nicely, so the freezer is needed to store all of these - and of coarse it would be very helpful when we prepare baby food to freeze...

I love auctions and I also like buying second hand stuff. Of course I like new things, but the problem is when I buy something new I end up feeling very sorry for it and then do not really USE it. Just this afternoon I was looking at my phone. It is protected buy a big pouch which makes it a bit inconvenient as I have to open it up the whole time and it also still have the plastic protective film on the glass. It still looks very nice, but I was thinking, for what? It's almost time to upgrade and then I'll hand the phone down or sell it or something. So the next person will have a nice (new) phone, whereas I did not really USE it... So I like buying used stuff that I do not feel sorry for and get to fully enjoy and use.

Back at the auction we were going though the motions. We looked around and we set our targets on the freezers. While browsing my eye caught the compactum but I decided to stay with the program and focus on the freezers. In the back of my head I was thinking that I would surely like to have a compactum, always have, but did not really see us paying a LOT of money for a new one and not really less for a used one.
So then the auctioneer got to the compactum and did his thing. Nobody lifted their hands. The auctioneer then cut the price and remarked that you do not really need a baby in order to buy it.. Riaan caught my eyes, which by that time were welling up like our Cape dams at the moment, ready to spill. In return he had big question-marks in his eyes and I nodded my head. His hand flew up and he bought our baby his/her very own compactum for a whole R100-00!! It is very sturdy, made from real wood and with a fresh coat of paint and some decoration it is going to look beautiful!

Needles to say, we went home with a bakkie-load full of things (including a freezer). The compactum is now standing smack-bam in the middle of our living room. I still have to re-arrange the spare-room to fit it in. But I'm happy. Don't know if I'm more happy for having it, or that me and my hubby both had the need to make our first real purchase for this little child of ours.

Yes...

Just had to share the following post. Not completely true to my situation, but the feelings are definitely the same. Got especially teary when reading the following:

We’re moms without children. It’s an ache that doesn't go away. It starts before we see their faces and only ends when they’re in our arms. So we walk about with half our heart missing. It’s hard to breathe, to think, to speak. Something always feels missing. Because they are.