I have not written in a while, because I have been mentally out of commission. Brooding in my cave. Feeling sad. The thing is, I am a little tired of waiting. I was faced with the decision of whether we will be flying up for a little breakaway to go and visit my parents. My High-School is having a reunion weekend and it would have been the perfect opportunity to go there, visit my parents, mom-in-law, other family and friends. Both me and Riaan took some leave and all that remained was booking the flights, and the car and budget for the petrol, food and extra expenses that comes with a holiday. It worked out to an awful amount.
Then there was the question of taking money from our baby-fund to see our families. We are all aware of the expenses that comes with adopting a baby. Riaan and me have a fund where we try and keep enough money to be prepared when that phone call happens and we have to go fetch our baby. I must confess, with setting up my home office and moving to the country that the fund has dwindled a bit.
So, we decided rather not to. My heart is breaking over this sacrifice. We are actually giving up spending time with the people we love, in order to be prepared for a baby that we do not know will show up any time soon. I hate how this is making me feel, all sad and hopeless.