Our Adoption Journey

Our journey to start a family through the miracle of adoption.

Thursday, 25 July 2013

Feeling sad..

I have not written in a while, because I have been mentally out of commission. Brooding in my cave. Feeling sad. The thing is, I am a little tired of waiting. I was faced with the decision of whether we will be flying up for a little breakaway to go and visit my parents. My High-School is having a reunion weekend and it would have been the perfect opportunity to go there, visit my parents, mom-in-law, other family and friends. Both me and Riaan took some leave and all that remained was booking the flights, and the car and budget for the petrol, food and extra expenses that comes with a holiday. It worked out to an awful amount.
Then there was the question of taking money from our baby-fund to see our families. We are all aware of the expenses that comes with adopting a baby. Riaan and me have a fund where we try and keep enough money to be prepared when that phone call happens and we have to go fetch our baby. I must confess, with setting up my home office and moving to the country that the fund has dwindled a bit.
So, we decided rather not to. My heart is breaking over this sacrifice. We are actually giving up spending time with the people we love, in order to be prepared for a baby that we do not know will show up any time soon. I hate how this is making me feel, all sad and hopeless.



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9 comments:

  1. Rhonda25 July 2013 at 23:27

    *Hugs*

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  2. Signifikans26 July 2013 at 08:17

    Juanita, I pour you a virtual cup of coffee and cross my legs to sit a while in your company, because, simply, I understand! We also have a baby-fund, and a seemingly never-ending wait, and lots of "we-cant's" because we are waiting for our little bundle of joy! The weirdest for me is how our baby is already virtually there in terms of planning, finances, dreams and even realities, since our lifes need to be sorted in such a way that it can accommodate a baby at any time... But still, not warm little body to love... only the dream.... Thinking of you and sending you love and hope!

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    Replies
    1. Juanita29 July 2013 at 18:59

      Thanks Retha, and good wishes back to you too.

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  3. Alicia26 July 2013 at 08:20

    I'm sorry this is what you are faced with right now Juanita. I wish I could take away the sadness, the longing, the seemingly endless what ifs.

    Have you talked to the agency recently? Have they been showing your profile?

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    Replies
    1. Juanita29 July 2013 at 19:04

      That little bundle of joy of yours' is enough to put hope in my heart and keep me hanging on :-)
      That is what we are making the hard choices for after all..

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  4. Heather26 July 2013 at 12:53

    So sad for you.... hugs...

    We decided this month instead of going down for a family wedding to fix the fridge and stove! It cost about the same...

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    1. Juanita29 July 2013 at 19:06

      Haha, thank you Heather! Just making me realise that there is always sacrifices to be made.

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    2. Anonymous15 July 2014 at 10:31

      Hi Heather, I do understand how bad the wait is and how difficult and scary it is seeing your funds that you have reserved for the baby shrinks and shrinks because life happens. And the endless times when everyone keeps asking heard nothing yet? why is it taking so long. Everything has been bought every single thing nappy's medicine etc. What keeps me motivated is the words Eliose said. "I promise you it WILL happen, and if it has not happened yet it does not mean that it is not going to happen it just means the right one is not there yet."

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